Dinner Etiquette

I was at a friend’s house for a summer BBQ and one of the guests asked during dinner if there was any vegetarian options. The question horrified the hostess since she was not aware that any of her guests were vegetarians. The guests ended up eating the salad and claimed that everything was ok. After a few drinks, everyone calmed down and had an enjoyable dinner. It did make me think of who was wrong in this instance. 

Should the Hostess ask each guest what their dietary restrictions are? Should the guests have notified the hostess that they are vegetarians? What are the dining expectations?

In most etiquette questions, clear communications will avoid an issue. In this instance, both the guest and the hostess should have spoken about dietary restrictions. I believe that it is more incumbent on the guest in this case she the hostess did inform the guests that she was preparing a barbeque. Traditionally, barbeques involve grilled meats and potentially fish. I think that the food expectation was clear. I know I expected some food options ranging from burgers, chicken to steak. 

An easy way for a guest to remind the hostess that they may a food restriction is to offer to bring something that the guest could eat.

But in the end, the hostess should have inquired if any of her guests had dietary restrictions and planned accordingly. and have been for eight years. I’d like to know if it’d be rude for me to ask when invited to a dinner party if there will be a vegetarian or no-meat option on the menu ? Or would it be acceptable to bring my own vegetarian food to the party?

The best way to avoid an uncomfortable development is for the hostess to ask if any guests have a dietary restriction. If the hostess does not ask, then it is incumbent on the guest to bring it up.

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